UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
so much tequila, so little girl.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
