So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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