So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
