I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Randomize
