I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I am available for nakedness
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
