Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
