it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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