I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
