The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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