You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
