you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
