My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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