If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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