ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
