I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
We talked him into tasing himself.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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