You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
How's work?
Spinning.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
