well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
