when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
