I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
