Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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