Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
