What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
