I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
