Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
