I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
