you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Randomize
