The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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