u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Dick very happy bro
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Success! We fucked roommates!
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
