You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
