so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Just pee around me
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
