In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
we're so committed to being not committed
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