i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
BRING THE BAGELS
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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