we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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