Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
