yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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