You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize