yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
