i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
