Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
