Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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