Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
