you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
