Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
So vagazzling was a success
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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