Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
