I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
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