Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
