Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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