the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
