Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
