He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
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