k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize