that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
