you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
