I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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