i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
