census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
