In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
