I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize