God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
