We named our party play list daddy issues
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
