this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
