I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
cat food counts as protein by the way
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize