She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
