Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
