hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I've blown a few things in my day
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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