no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I will die if light touches me.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
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