If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
