I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
